Your Children Will Stand and Bless You

Chapter 31 of Proverbs describes “a truly good wife.” In addition to the description of this woman, the chapter also contains some promises to such a woman. One of those promises is, “Her children stand and bless her.”

This is pretty heady stuff! Yet, because we know that all of God’s promises do come to pass, we also know that if we live up to those standards, our children will stand and bless us. For most of us this probably brings to mind a picture of a large formal gathering with us in the center surrounded by grown children who take turns standing and proclaiming our many virtues to all within earshot—sort of a “let’s all stand and bless Mom party.”

I must confess that as a young woman when I read Proverbs 31 I imagined a scene like the one described above. Now I am old, and no version of the above has ever played out in my life. Of course, I have had individual children tell me that they thought I was “a good mother,” but most of the time the compliment resulted from my wishing aloud that I had done a better job in one area or another. 

It is also true, however, that I no longer would even want a “let’s stand and bless Mom party.” I now know that a mother’s responsibilities never end. We never stop being deeply concerned about our children. We never stop praying for them concerning their jobs, their spiritual lives, their spouses, and their children. There is simply no expiration date on being a parent, and I now believe that we must finish our lives before our worth as a parent can be accurately evaluated.

Then what about the promise, “Her children stand and bless her?” Like all of God’s promises, it is literal and certain. It just took me a while to understand that the “standing and blessing” was of a much more powerful and heartwarming nature than I could ever have imagined.

My children never complained about being homeschooled through all educational levels, including undergraduate and graduate degrees. They never implied that they wished that they could attend the schools from which they earned their degrees. They were very good children, but after they were grown I became aware that as adults they sometimes felt that they did not “fit in” as well as other people who had not been homeschooled. They had to “explain themselves” to those who believed that homeschooling equals truancy. Even though they have been extremely successful in highly competitive professions, the homeschooling discussion still arises among their colleagues. Consequently, I have sometimes thought that there was a little part of them that wished they had never been homeschooled.

I was surprised, therefore, when my first grandchild was old enough to go to school and her mother never even considered NOT homeschooling her. When her siblings came along, they, too, were homeschooled. When my other children had children of their own, they also homeschooled. I never asked them whether they were planning to homeschool. I never tried to “sell” them on the idea. They just never considered anything else. One of my daughters did enroll her oldest child in a private Christian school for first and second grades, but after a while she concluded that she could do a much better job at home. She has now been homeschooling for the past two years. All of my grandchildren who are old enough to attend school are being homeschooled.

I now know what it means to have my children “stand and bless me.” The blessing is not about compliments. The blessing is having them do for their children what I did for them.  It is having them look at all of the educational choices available to them and deciding that Mom got it right. It is having them know that not everyone is going to approve, and many people will never understand the value of what they are doing, but choosing to do it anyway because it is the best possible gift that they can give their children.

On those days when you are feeling under appreciated, remember that one day you will teach your last lesson and close your homeschool. You may have a few years when you are uncertain whether your children appreciated all that you sacrificed to teach them at home. But one day you will have grandchildren, and when it is time for them to go to school, you will be blessed to discover that your children are following in your footsteps. When you see your grandchildren thriving in their loving, Christ centered homeschools, you will truly experience what it means to have your children stand and bless you.