Why Can’t My Child Read? Part I

Since reading is the foundation for all learning, when homeschooling parents are faced with a child who struggles with reading, we often are at a loss as to how to proceed. Among my ten children I had nine who learned to read almost effortlessly and one who struggled painfully. From that experience I learned a lot about how to work with a Dyslexic child.

A few weeks ago Donna commented on one of my posts and asked whether any of my children had struggled with reading. Her question sparked a flood of memories. I was reminded of how truly painful learning to read was for my ninth child, and how truly painful teaching him to read was for me. Because this is a problem that touches so many homeschoolers, I have decided to devote several blogs to this subject. In this first I will discuss some of the things that it took me years to discover about my child’s view of the world and how it differs from those of us who see the world “normally.” In future blogs I will discuss the reading theory that I developed and the method that I used to teach him to read.

By the time my ninth child was “ready” to learn to read, I was confident that teaching him would be a quick and easy process. After all, the other eight had learned to read in six weeks using the reading method that I had devised myself (more about this in a future blog). I was, therefore, completely unprepared for the years of hard work that lay ahead for both of us to accomplish something so “simple” as learning to read.

My child was never diagnosed as dyslexic, but I did not need a medical diagnosis to pinpoint the problem. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines dyslexic as follows: “A variable often familial learning disability involving difficulties in acquiring and processing language that is typically manifested by a lack of proficiency in reading, spelling, and writing.”

As we both struggled through those early years, I had no idea how my child saw the world. Since then I have read a little about how dyslexic children perceive written language, but what is written about dyslexia is written by people who are not dyslexic. I have discovered that most of their explanations do not even come close to the reality of how these people process both language and symbols.

My first genuine insights came when I accompanied my two youngest children to take their on-campus seminars to earn their bachelor’s degrees. During those seminars they met the professors with whom they had worked through their home study. They listened to lectures, completed seminar assignments, and were tested in every subject. They were completely on their own without the benefit of having Mom by their sides.

By this time my ninth child was fifteen and preparing to graduate from the university. He and his brother, who was ten months younger than he, were taking their seminars together, and when they came back to our apartment each evening, they completed the assignments that were due the following day.

One evening both boys were working on an art assignment that called for them to create a design that would look the same viewed from any angle. Within a few minutes my ninth child had drawn a very intricate design that looked exactly the same viewed from any angle while his non-dyslexic brother struggled for quite a while before drawing a very simple design that barely met the criteria.

I was impressed and asked number nine how he had managed to do such a complicated drawing in such a short time. He said that it was “easy.” He then began to show me other skills that I did not know he possessed. He picked up a pen and began to write very rapidly. When he was finished he handed me the sentence, which was written entirely backwards. He told me that if I would hold it up to a mirror that I could read it; he was right.

After further discussion, he told me that he had always been able to write backwards; the key was that he could not stop to think about it. If he would just let himself “go with it,” he would always write backwards. It was the “normal” writing that was a challenge.

I had always known that my ninth child was very creative, but as he entered his teens this creativity became increasingly evident. He was, and is, a talented artist. He is a wonderful story-teller and in his mid-twenties wrote several screen plays. He entered his first screen play in a global contest with fifty-thousand entries and, he placed in the top fifty entries.

Now twenty-eight years old, my ninth child reads and writes like a “normal” person, but he is not “normal.” The same things that kept him from processing language like everyone else have also given him the ability to see all of life through a prism that brings humor and creativity into just about every situation. He is interested in many subjects and is something of a political junkie. He also designs all of the covers for our books for our publishing company and has created some of the art work for them.

Yet, I know that the years of struggling to overcome his inability to read well presented challenges for him on a number of levels. That is why I have chosen to tackle this subject.

What I learned, I learned from experience. In subsequent blogs I will share with readers those things that worked for us so that you may apply them to your little students who are having difficulty learning to read. My hope is that these insights will make life easier for both you and them.

Next Tuesday: “Why Can’t My Child Read? Part II

For more information and resources for homeschooling visit http://www.frontier2000.net/.

Love Triangles are the Best

God loves the number three. We have the Trinity; we have the triple braided cord; and we have the family. All are examples of God’s power in our lives. However, we may not associate the family with the number three unless we think of it as the three-part unit of father, mother, and children—the perfect love triangle.

Have you ever thought about why God created families? Why is the parent such an important part of a child’s life? I have a theory that God gave us parents because they are the first example of God/Jesus that we encounter. We have all heard stories about people with abusive fathers or negligent mothers who had a difficult time becoming Christians because they could not relate to God as their parent. The last thing they wanted in their lives was another disappointing parent.

The Christian man who was the most instrumental person in helping John and me fully commit our lives to Christ told us a very interesting story about his own experience in coming to Christ. Ed was an only child, and when he was a little boy his mother left his father and him. He spent his whole life mourning because his mother had deserted him and wondering what had prompted her to do it.

Even after Ed was grown, he still felt so unloved that he was unable to move past the hurt of having been deserted by his mother. One day when he was reading the Bible, he came across Isaiah 49 and read these words: “Can a mother forget her little child and not have love for her own son? Yet, even if that should be, I will not forget you.” (Living Bible)Ed said that the pain and sadness that had always been a part of his life just melted away and he knew that God was not only a father to him but a mother as well. From that moment he began to feel loved, and he began to heal.

Yes, God is the perfect parent who never deserts us and never stops loving us, but before we meet Him, we meet our earthly parents. For those of us who are parents it is imperative that we provide a good example for our children. They meet us long before they meet Jesus, and their initial opinion of Him is going to depend to a great extent on their opinion of us.

I never asked my children to do anything I was not willing to do myself. When we added scripture memorization to our spiritual training, I learned the same scriptures they did. I also adhered to the same television viewing rules that I had for them. We had very strict guidelines in terms of sexual content, language, and violence, and I never watched anything that I considered unacceptable for them. My youngest child moved out in 2003, and I still live my life by those rules that I set for my children so many years ago.

Remember, sin is not determined by the age of the sinner. Most things that are not appropriate for children are not appropriate for anyone. A simple test is to ask yourself why you object to your child being exposed to a particular movie or book or activity. If your objections are due to moral content, that particular activity is not appropriate for you either. If you ignore this obvious conclusion, you are sending a message that says, “It’s okay to do anything you want after you reach age twenty-one.”

Your children are always watching you. If you want them to live lives that honor Christ, you must commit your own life completely and without reservation. When you provide an example of genuine Christian living coupled with love for your spouse and love for your children, you are creating a love triangle that will stand the test of time.

Excerpted from "Looking Backward: My Twenty-five Years as a Homeschooling Mother" by Joyce Swann.
                                                                        
















For more information, visit http://www.frontier2000.net/

You are Probably Richer than You Think

I live about two miles from El Paso, Texas, which is separated from Juarez, Mexico, by a river in some places and a chain link fence in others. Juarez is the largest border city in Mexico and has been recently named the most dangerous city in the world. The drug war that rages across the river is responsible for multiple grizzly murders daily, and the influx of illegal aliens from Mexico into El Paso and the surrounding areas continues to grow as they look for a means of escaping the violence in their own country.

Recently our pastor asked a young woman who attends our Wednesday evening church service to tell the congregation about going to court over her legal status. I, of course, thought that she was going to say that she was about to be deported and that she needed prayer. I could not have been more wrong! Her intriguing story made me realize that many of us are living just as she was—hiding fearfully in the shadows while our inheritance is slipping away.

Ana is the daughter of an American man and a Mexican woman. She has lived most of her life here in El Paso, but her father was seldom in the home. Because her mother is a Mexican National, she and Ana had lived “under the radar” to avoid deportation. Now that Ana is in her mid-twenties and has two little boys of her own, however, she felt that she needed to do whatever was necessary to protect herself and her children from deportation. She mustered her courage and decided to go to court to find out how she could obtain legal status for herself and her children.

When Ana’s court date finally arrived and she stood before the judge, she was amazed to discover that she is a citizen! The judge informed her that she has been a citizen since birth. She was, of course, overjoyed, but I could not help but think about the years of torment that Ana had experienced because she did not know about her priceless birthright of American citizenship.

Hearing Ana’s story also led me to think about my own birthright and that of every person who has accepted Jesus Christ as his/her savior. We have so much in Christ, but we often live in fear, and anger, and frustration because we do not understand that He has taken our burdens. We refuse to forgive because we have never really understood the significance of His having forgiven us. We feel inadequate because we do not really understand that when we accepted Christ, it was no longer about us; He is the all-sufficient one, and He is more than able to supply our needs “according to His riches in Glory.” We feel unloved because we have never opened our hearts to accept the unlimited love that only He can offer. If we really understood and were willing to accept what is ours, we would live our lives very differently.                                                        

As we face the difficult times ahead, I hope that we will all remember our birthright as Christians, and that we will step out of the shadows to accept all that is ours in Jesus Christ.
                                              
                                                                      

Make “Facebook” your “Word”

    While driving to my office this morning, I was listening to KLOVE radio. Eric and Lisa (the morning hosts) were encouraging everyone to choose one word to define 2011 as it pertains to their walk with Christ. Apparently, this practice originated with a pastor and his wife who have done this for many years. The idea behind the practice is that we should pray and ask the Lord for the word (yes, it is one single word) that will help us accomplish the work that He has for us in 2011.    

     Eric and Lisa have been discussing the “word” for at least a week. During that time they have shared a number of “words” that readers have entered on the KLOVE website along with a short personal story telling why they believe that their particular word is from God.

    This morning I was a little annoyed when Lisa once again began telling why “clear” was the word God had given her. I wasn’t really relating to any of this and was beginning to ponder turning the channel when Lisa shared a “word” from one of their listeners. The word is “Facebook” and the listener said that she had chosen it because God had shown her that in 2011 He wants her to keep her face in His book! That really got my attention and made me feel ashamed that I had doubted that a single word could transform lives.

     Most Christians recognize the importance of daily Bible reading. We have had daily Bible reading in our home since 1970, and I believe that it was the single most important thing that we did for our children. Lately, however, it has come to my attention that many Christians do not read the Bible every day. Even if they expect their children to have Bible study and devotional time individually, they do not read the Bible aloud together as a family with mandatory participation by all children—no matter what their ages.

     We parents worry so much about the godless direction that our society has taken, but we sometimes forget that unless our children really know God’s Word, one direction will seem about as good to them as another. Because so many Christians are unwilling to commit to a daily Bible reading, we see a shocking lack of understanding about who God is and what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ. Unless our children know how Jesus lived His life and how He reacted to sin and sinners, they cannot hope to know how to live their lives.

     Your children will not always make good choices, and they will sometimes disappoint you, but if you fill them with the Word of God, they will know the truth. The funny thing about the truth is that once they know it, they can never separate themselves from it. They may wish that it were not the truth, and they may live their lives for a while as if it were not the truth, but, in the end, Truth will always win.

     This year let’s all pledge to make “Facebook” our word. If we will be faithful to keep our faces and the faces of our children in His book, we will find that it will be much easier to accomplish those things that God has for us and our families in 2011.
                                                                                                                                   

  

Your Children Will Stand and Bless You

Chapter 31 of Proverbs describes “a truly good wife.” In addition to the description of this woman, the chapter also contains some promises to such a woman. One of those promises is, “Her children stand and bless her.”

This is pretty heady stuff! Yet, because we know that all of God’s promises do come to pass, we also know that if we live up to those standards, our children will stand and bless us. For most of us this probably brings to mind a picture of a large formal gathering with us in the center surrounded by grown children who take turns standing and proclaiming our many virtues to all within earshot—sort of a “let’s all stand and bless Mom party.”

I must confess that as a young woman when I read Proverbs 31 I imagined a scene like the one described above. Now I am old, and no version of the above has ever played out in my life. Of course, I have had individual children tell me that they thought I was “a good mother,” but most of the time the compliment resulted from my wishing aloud that I had done a better job in one area or another. 

It is also true, however, that I no longer would even want a “let’s stand and bless Mom party.” I now know that a mother’s responsibilities never end. We never stop being deeply concerned about our children. We never stop praying for them concerning their jobs, their spiritual lives, their spouses, and their children. There is simply no expiration date on being a parent, and I now believe that we must finish our lives before our worth as a parent can be accurately evaluated.

Then what about the promise, “Her children stand and bless her?” Like all of God’s promises, it is literal and certain. It just took me a while to understand that the “standing and blessing” was of a much more powerful and heartwarming nature than I could ever have imagined.

My children never complained about being homeschooled through all educational levels, including undergraduate and graduate degrees. They never implied that they wished that they could attend the schools from which they earned their degrees. They were very good children, but after they were grown I became aware that as adults they sometimes felt that they did not “fit in” as well as other people who had not been homeschooled. They had to “explain themselves” to those who believed that homeschooling equals truancy. Even though they have been extremely successful in highly competitive professions, the homeschooling discussion still arises among their colleagues. Consequently, I have sometimes thought that there was a little part of them that wished they had never been homeschooled.

I was surprised, therefore, when my first grandchild was old enough to go to school and her mother never even considered NOT homeschooling her. When her siblings came along, they, too, were homeschooled. When my other children had children of their own, they also homeschooled. I never asked them whether they were planning to homeschool. I never tried to “sell” them on the idea. They just never considered anything else. One of my daughters did enroll her oldest child in a private Christian school for first and second grades, but after a while she concluded that she could do a much better job at home. She has now been homeschooling for the past two years. All of my grandchildren who are old enough to attend school are being homeschooled.

I now know what it means to have my children “stand and bless me.” The blessing is not about compliments. The blessing is having them do for their children what I did for them.  It is having them look at all of the educational choices available to them and deciding that Mom got it right. It is having them know that not everyone is going to approve, and many people will never understand the value of what they are doing, but choosing to do it anyway because it is the best possible gift that they can give their children.

On those days when you are feeling under appreciated, remember that one day you will teach your last lesson and close your homeschool. You may have a few years when you are uncertain whether your children appreciated all that you sacrificed to teach them at home. But one day you will have grandchildren, and when it is time for them to go to school, you will be blessed to discover that your children are following in your footsteps. When you see your grandchildren thriving in their loving, Christ centered homeschools, you will truly experience what it means to have your children stand and bless you.

                                        

My Homeschool/My Ministry

Unless things have changed a lot since I was homeschooling my children, the majority of people with whom homeschooling mothers come in contact do not take homeschooling very seriously. I realize, of course, that homeschooling has taken on an air of “respectability” that it did not enjoy in 1975 when I launched my homeschool, but I suspect that homeschooling mothers are still something of an anomaly.

Have you ever been criticized for not spending enough time working on projects outside the home? I certainly was, and today I want to share with you how I made peace with myself over not being able to be involved in all of the activities that other people thought that I, as a Christian, should be incorporating into my life.

For a long time I was embarrassed when the subject arose. I lamely defended my position by saying that I just did not have time to do more than attend church. In addition to Sunday services, I gave the children a good deal of spiritual instruction at home. We had daily Bible reading and daily family prayer. As they grew older, we added scripture memorization to this list. However, I could not volunteer for committees and all sorts of other church-related activities and still take care of my rapidly expanding family. I gave birth to ten children in twelve years and added a new student every year for quite a long time.  Nevertheless, I received few breaks from my critics—even though they had families of only two or three well-spaced children, and none of them was homeschooling.

After several years of unsuccessful, red-faced stuttering and stammering when asked to defend my position, I came across the perfect answer. It may not have satisfied my critics, but it satisfied me completely. From that day forward, I no longer felt embarrassed or guilty when asked about my apparent lack of Christian Service.

One day one of my little students’ vocabulary lesson contained the word “vocation.” The Calvert manual said that the world “vocation” comes from the Latin vocare which means “calling.” As I read that simple definition, for the first time I realized the significance of my homeschool.

Teaching my children at home was not an experiment; it was not a job, it was not even a career. Homeschooling my children was my vocation—my calling. It was real missionary work. When I began to understand that my homeschool was my ministry, my perspective changed. The work had suddenly taken on a much deeper spiritual quality. I was working for Christ, and He deserved my very best.

Today I want to challenge you to look around your schoolroom. Think of your little students as future missionaries you are preparing for service. In other circumstances you might never have the opportunity to train anyone for ministry, but as a homeschooling mother you have the opportunity to influence your children’s thinking on literally every level. You are in the unique position of being able to bring Christ into everything your children study. What a privilege to be able to pass on your love and passion for Christ to the people you love most. In preparing them, you are touching not only their lives but the lives of everyone with whom they will come in contact as they reach adulthood. You have a tremendous opportunity; don’t fail to act on it, and never feel that you need to apologize for having chosen to make that most important commitment to your children.

                                                                                                       

When is the “Wrong” Answer the “Right” Answer?

When I was homeschooling my children, I always listened carefully to their answers, and no matter how outrageous they might seem on the surface, if the child could give me a good reason for coming to a particular conclusion, I would agree with him that the answer had merit and might even be the more correct answer, but I then explained why the textbook answer was the one the school wanted.

The following are some examples of situations from my homeschool that really made me think:

Example 1: When Christopher was six years old and in the third grade, the Calvert course introduced science. One of the first lessons showed pictures of a tiger, a tree, and a rock. The student was asked to identify which was an animal, which was a plant, and which was a mineral.

Christopher did this part of the assignment without difficulty, but then the book asked the student to identify the group to which people belong. Christopher immediately responded that people do not belong to any of those groups. I was surprised that he could miss something so obvious so I tried to steer him down a path that would help him come to the right conclusion.

I asked him to look again at the three different groups. I commented that both people and animals eat, and sleep, and have babies while plants and minerals don’t do any of those things. When I was certain that I had helped him see that people are part of the animal group, I asked the question again.

Immediately, Christopher answered that people do not belong to any of those groups. This was followed by more explaining on my part and more trying to help him see the obvious. Finally, after numerous attempts by me to help him come to the “right” conclusion, I told him that the answer was “animals. People are part of the group of animals.”

Christopher remained unconvinced. “No, they’re not,” he replied. "People are not any of these things. They are something different. They are in a group all by themselves.”

The light came on in my head! I realized that he was right. I had always held a strict Biblical Creationist Worldview, yet, I had been so indoctrinated by my own public education that, without hesitation, I had agreed that people are animals.

I told him that he was absolutely right. We talked about how people are God’s special creation and that they are in a group all by themselves. I then told him that they really just wanted to know which of these things people are most like, and he answered, “animals.”

Example 2: When Stefan was seven or eight years old, he had this geography question, “If the world were made of glass, and you could look straight down and see through it, do you know what you would see?” The point of the question was to help the student understand that China is on the opposite side of the globe, and he would see China.

The question was hardly out of my mouth when Stefan replied, “Of course.” I was certain that he did not know that in this scenario he would see China; therefore, I told him that I wanted him to think about his answer for a minute. I then asked the question again, and he instantly replied, “Of course.”

I realized that I was going to get nowhere with this line of questioning so I said, “Okay. What would you see?”

“Hell,” came the immediate response. “Oh, yes, you would,” I responded. I then told him that the point of the geography lesson was for him to understand that China was on the other side of the world. I then told him to imagine that we could move Hell out of the way so that he could look straight through to the other side. Then he would see China.

I want to encourage all homeschooling parents to take the time to find out not only what your children are thinking but why they are thinking it. It is easy to become impatient and provide a “correct” answer that is obvious to you. However, if you take the time to find out why your little student is coming to a different conclusion from that of the textbook, you may be pleased to discover that his answer is the right one after all.

Excerpted from Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother by Joyce Swann.